Q&A with Max-Laine Alexis, author of "Are you a Crazy Baby Mama?"

Q&A with Max-Laine Alexis, author of “Are You A Crazy Baby Mama?”

A Handbook for Single Moms.

Upon losing her job, home and car and raising a child as a single mother, Max-Laine decided to pen a book for other single mothers, encouraging them to improve their lives while dealing with their own personal issues.

1. What prompted you to write "Are you a Crazy Baby Mama?" What was the "a-ha" moment when you realized you had a book that would be valuable for single moms?

My co-author called me out the blue because she was going through some issues and needed to speak to someone that could relate to her. Among our mutual friends, I was the only single mother she knew. We spoke about the things we go through as single moms such as dealing with our children’s fathers, financial struggles, and our emotions. It was a very emotional conversation. At the end of the conversation she said, “we should write a book.” I thought it was a great idea and so I started to write. Two months later I was laid off from my job and didn’t know what to do. I was afraid that I wasn’t going to find another job and that my unemployment benefits wasn’t going to be enough. Within ten months, I lost my job, home to foreclosure, and my car was repossessed. My AHA moment happened as the repo guy was loading my car onto a tow truck. I realized that I had asked for everyone and everything to be removed from my life that I didn’t need in order to fulfill the life I always dreamed of. Without those material items, I was able to focus more on a career as a writer. I knew that I had to share my story with other single moms because we tend to think that we are the only ones going through problems alone and that no one can relate. There were no other books on the market that we could find that spoke about issues that affect single moms. For far too long, single moms haven’t had a voice until now.

2. What was the process like to write it - and then get it published and "out there?" Was it daunting? Did you already have ties into the publishing industry? Or did you just keep knocking on doors until someone would listen to you?

It was very difficult to write it because I was going through a lot. Most of the things that I shared in the book, I hadn’t revealed to my family. My mother didn’t know I had lost my job nor that my home went into foreclosure. I was embarrassed and felt like a failure for not being able to maintain a home for my daughter. The process hasn’t ended. I looked into getting published but without any response from any publishers we decided to go through the self-publishing route. The daunting part is that the issues that affect single moms have been ignored and there aren’t any real solutions to fix the problem of raising children without any help from their fathers. I say why continue to knock on those doors let’s just kick them down instead.

3. What's the most valuable key learning from the book for single moms?
The most valuable key is that single moms should be “Crazy” about themselves. As single moms we neglect ourselves and focus only on raising our children. We feel guilty because we are raising our child alone and so we tend to try to give our children everything to compensate for their father’s absence. If you’re “Crazy” about yourself then you’re less likely to become bitter towards your child's father. We have 12 Code of Ethics also called Mom-mandments that we believe that all single moms should follow. One of them is “Don’t be bitter, Be Better.” I encourage single moms to become better whether they want to go back to school or find a new hobby, it will make their mothering experience a lot better and their child will be raised in a more nurturing and healthy environment. When we are good then our children are better.

4. What is the best piece of advice you received (or learned) during this writing & publishing process?

The best piece of advice I learned during this writing and publishing process is be prepared to hear the word ‘no’ because not everyone is going to like your story or idea. I always say that I’m not writing for people who are not going to like what I say so I’m not bothered by them. I rather focus on telling than selling. I’m so passionate about sharing my story that nothing else matters. Be passionate about telling your story instead of selling because the money will eventually come.

5. What words of encouragement do you have for other moms who would love to get on the "author" bandwagon? Where should they begin?

I would tell moms who would love to get on the “author” bandwagon to go ahead and write their story. Take it one day at a time and put your priorities in order. Don’t let being successful or failing deter you. Just write it. There are so many resources out there to begin the process and no matter what do your research about publishing first.

6. How has your life changed, if at all, now that you are a published author?

My life has changed dramatically. I’m more confident about sharing my story with other people and my daughter has seen me overcome being in an unhealthy relationship. A year ago she told me, “Mommy, you’re so happy.” I no longer sweat the small stuff and I know that all my daughter needs is my love. I focus on living a more simple, humble, and an extraordinary life. I got the simple and humble part and now that the book is out the extraordinary part is just around the corner.

7. Any last minute words of wisdom you'd like to share with our readers?

YES! I’d like to say that I’m a “Crazy” Baby Mama because I’m “Crazy” about my daughter. Though life isn’t going to be easy all the time just know that when you are faced with challenges that it’s not a life sentence. You WILL be able to get through it no matter what. There is always something positive that you can see in a negative situation. If you can’t then look again and again until you do. I could have continued on the wrong road when I lost my job, home, and car but I believed that there was a lesson to be learned. The positive is that I learned the valuable lesson that the most important thing was to enjoy my life with my daughter because I can always buy another car and find another job but I can never buy time lost spending time with her...and oh yeah, I’m better with money too.

Max-Laine
"Crazy" Baby Mamas

www.crazybabymamas.com